There are certain moments in our lives that stick with us. Some are happy; some are sad. But they change our lives, nonetheless. I had one of those moments when I was a freshman in high school. I can remember it vividly, even though it took place more than 30 years ago.
I remember walking into the cafeteria that morning with money in my hand. I was going to repay a classmate who had loaned me money at lunchtime the day before. I looked around for her and then began asking if anyone had seen her yet. No one had, even though classes were about to start.
I noticed that it looked as if a game of telephone was making its way through the area where all the freshmen were sitting. One person leaned over to the next, and on it went. Some people began crying while others stood with a look of disbelief on their faces. I wondered what was going on.
Eventually, the news made its way to me and my group of friends. We learned that our classmate, the one I had been looking for, had died by suicide that very morning. We were all stunned. How could this happen to someone our age? Death was for older people, not us.
We spent the day in a haze of emotions—sorrow, confusion, disbelief, even anger for some.
A Haunting Reality
So why am I telling this story? It’s to show that suicide deeply affects everyone it touches—even peripherally and years later. As a parent, I worry about a lot of things when it comes to my kids. One thing that I’m most aware of is their mental health. Ask any teenager how he or she is doing, and chances are you will receive the standard answer of “I’m fine,” leaving us parents to search for clues and insights.
Things such as COVID-19 and its isolation, social media, bullying, school—and what lies beyond that—are weighing down our kids. I’m not saying that there haven’t been stressors on previous generations, but the numbers show that right now there is something to be concerned about.
Behind the Numbers
According to the National Alliance of Mental Illness (NAMI), suicide is the second leading cause of death among people aged 15–24. Also, nearly 20 percent of high school students report serious thoughts of suicide, and 9 percent have made an attempt to take their lives. While those statistics might vary slightly depending on which research source you’re reading, they all reach the same conclusion: Suicide is a real problem.
Those numbers are startling. While they are important for providing awareness and information, they are not the true story. The true story is that behind each one of those numbers is someone’s child, someone’s sibling, someone’s friend, someone’s classmate. Those numbers represent someone who is dearly missed.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988. You can also contact the Crisis Text Line (text HELLO to 741741). Both services provide 24-hour, confidential support to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.
