Name-calling. Bullying. Prejudice. Hurtful comments. Gossip. Given that this is a family column, you might assume that I’m talking about the behavior of kids. Certainly, those are issues that every parent has faced and works hard to head off with their children. But kids are not who I’m referring to when it comes to those behaviors. I’m talking about adults and the poor example we’re all setting.
Turn on the news. Go online and read the comments beneath stories or videos. It’s not pretty. And most of the comments are coming from adults hiding behind a screen and using a keyboard as their weapon.
But it’s not just online where this behavior exists. The other day I was driving and stopped behind a car that had a rather offensive and vulgar message plastered on its back window. Before I reached my destination, I saw similarly inappropriate messages on two other cars. And such public expressions of our thoughts and feelings seem to be getting more common.
Now you may think I’m referring specifically to behavior surrounding politics and the animosity it breeds. But I’m not. Oh, sure, there’s plenty of vitriol spread throughout the political arena. But the problem is much larger than that. We can see and hear it everywhere. People tear down others all the time. But to what end? To build ourselves up at their expense?
Setting an Example
The other day I was scrolling on social media and came across a video showing two girls using their lunchtime to belittle their classmates. They commented on how one was overweight and another dressed weird. It’s a scenario we’ve seen play out before. And we would certainly reprimand our kids for behaving that way.
But at the end of the video, it cuts to one of the girls sitting on a couch with her mom watching an awards show. The mom is criticizing each of the attendees in much the same way her daughter had been doing earlier. The video is a great reminder that our children are watching and adopting the habits we demonstrate.
It’s a great—and very real—example of all those times we told our kids to “Be nice” and reprimanded them when they weren’t, but we obviously weren’t listening to ourselves.
Look in the Mirror
I hate to be one of those “back in the day” type people, but I don’t remember this type of animosity being spewed at one another. I’m not sure exactly what changed, but things certainly have. Now people don’t even try to hide their thoughts. Whatever we think, we say. Our opinions are vocalized for all the world to hear. And it’s setting a bad example for our kids.
So the next time we decide to correct our children or grandchildren for their less-than-kind behavior and tell them to “play nice” or “use kind words,” perhaps we should stop and think about our own behavior. Because they may just be demonstrating the example that we’ve been setting.
