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In every marriage, there comes a sobering awareness that you are not able to do as much of your own thing. Even with a great marriage preparation experience, it is still normal for couples to wake up one day and think, “This is not the person I married. What happened?” It is natural for couples to experience some disillusionment in the early years. A time comes when you realize that your spouse isn’t all you thought and things aren’t working out quite as smoothly as you once hoped.  We were not created to bear the weight of perfection.

God designed marriage to be joyful. I once believed the words of a newlywed friend, that, “things will just work themselves out.” After seven years of marriage and working with couples as a therapist, I’ve learned that relationships succeed because we work things out. Marriages are not self-sustaining and do not survive on autopilot. They require constant attention and intentional effort. But it can be rewarding effort. It can be an adventure! And like any adventure it is not easy. There are unexpected detours, obstacles, and challenges.

Touching the rock face, contemplating the grotto of more than 150 years ago and offering a prayer—these actions help visitors connect to that point in time when Bernadette hurried to this obscure cave. More importantly, they connect pilgrims to the spoken and unspoken messages that Our Lady conveyed to the young girl. As Mary bore the Son of God in her womb, she carries with her his message of love, which knows no obstacles and overcomes all shortcomings. Our lives, much like the grotto in Bernadette’s time, may be disordered, but God nonetheless comes calling.

The Blessed Virgin taught Bernadette with what she could see, touch and experience. “Bernadette is invited to enter a grotto, to drink spring water, to wash from it and to carry the light,” says Father de La Teyssonnière. “Rock, water and light are parts of the human experience, of the religious experience and of Christian revelation.

Drawn by faith or curiosity, people from all parts of the world go on pilgrimage to Lourdes, the most visited Marian shrine in Europe. When all is said and done, many pilgrims will measure their experience not by how far they travel but by how close they come to God.

Mary cares for our souls in a way that no human mother ever could—even the most wonderful, loving one! It is that burning charity that motivates her to work tirelessly for our salvation. She wants our salvation so desperately that she appeared many times over the centuries, sharing messages of hope and calling for prayer and conversion. When she appeared to two children on September 19, 1846, in La Salette, France, our Lady told them, “I want that everybody be saved, the good as well as the bad. I am the Mother of Love, the Mother of all; you are all my children.

The story of St. Josephine Bakhita remains a very moving testament to God’s providential hand on all who are called to do God’s great work. Although God’s work is often found in what some may call menial tasks, all work done in the name of the Lord is work of great magnitude in the eyes of God.