Ask a Franciscan

Will My Husband Know Me in Heaven?

hand on a grave

I believe and hope to be with my loved ones someday in heaven. Will my husband, who died almost two years ago, know me and still love me? How will he look? If I have hurt anyone in my lifetime, will he or she have forgiven me by then? My husband was a good Catholic. I hope he is in heaven, but where is it? This is all on faith. What if it isn’t the way we thought it would be?

If heaven is sharing in God’s life eternally, how important are any other details about it? Yes, we can presume that your husband will still know you and love you. Jesus, however, cautions against thinking of heaven too literally. He said, “At the resurrection they [people in heaven] neither marry nor are given in marriage but are like the angels in heaven ” (Mt 22:30). This is not a put-down of marriage but simply an admission that we cannot force upon God our rules or preferences about what would make us eternally happy.

How will your deceased husband look? Close enough to how you remember his appearance so that you can recognize him. The Apostles were able to recognize the risen Jesus (Lk 24:36–40).

Ask a Franciscan appears monthly in St. Anthony Messenger. Click here to learn more!

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35 thoughts on “Will My Husband Know Me in Heaven?”

  1. How depressing why wouldn’t you still be husband and wife in heaven? Why would God separated husband and wife that’s heart breaking. I hope that isn’t true because my husband just died 2 months ago and it’s devastating even but to hear that you won’t be husband and wife in heaven that they won’t see of feel about you that was is totally torture

    1. My thoughts too, my love passed 2weeks ago and I have such an empty feeling in me, I miss him so badly we were married 47 years

    2. I understand. My husband died March 16th of this year. It’s so hard, everyday is hard.

      1. Hi Inarah
        I am so sorry for your loss. My husband, Joe died on October 31, 2022, and I am so depressed and sad. I cry every day and every night. He was and is the love of my life. I will pray for you and please pray for me.

        1. I know exactly how you ladies feel. Michael my husband of 41 years went to be with Jesus. I’m devastated n like you I cry day in n day out. I don’t want to eat n sleeping without him is never going to be the same. You never know how wonderful you have it until you lose it for some time. I’m not afraid of dying. In fact whenever my Jesus is ready for me I’m ready. God bless us widows n widowers 🙏🏻

          1. Barbara Maxwell

            My husband suddenly passed after 3 months with brain cancer. We love each other very deeply!!!! I miss him so terribly it hurts deeply. Now the government says I died March 10 and March 20th. I am here but so alone!!! My precious husband passed March 30th. Oh how I beg to be with him every day and night!!!. I so appreciate you’ll encouragement..

      2. I understand you all my husband passed in August 2022. and I think about him maybe not knowing me when I get to heaven. I love him so much and miss him like crazy. I hope he knows me.

  2. My husband died March the 5th 2023 I pray to God he’s in Heaven and hers my cry and let me know that he’s ok

    1. Yvonne Reynolds

      Mildred I’m so sorry for your loss.
      My husband died on March 5th 2023 we were married 40 years come June 18th and I struggle everyday..Even though we had 3 beautiful kids they have there own families I have 8 wonderful grandsons but it doesn’t replace my husband 😢

      1. No it doesn’t I have 2 daughters I thank god for them they helps me out a lot but I still feel lost I’m holding on to Gods hands

        1. Mildred my husband always told me I can live without him cause we have 4 grandchildren to keep me busy but it’s not the same cause it’s not him.

      2. My husband died two years ago, we were married 59 years. I have son and his family and grandchildren, but feel so alone and miss him more each day. Feel hollow, vacant. He’s never out of my thoughts. Will i be with him in Heaven, will he still want and love me. Will he be waiting for me?

    2. Janice Cuevas

      We’re the same feeling right now.My husband Died April 21 this year. I missed him so much and I 😢 right now..

    3. My husband passed on June 3rd of 2023. I sure hope they are both in heaven. I have an uneasy feeling ever since he passed. I want him back so bad. Nobody could ever love me like he did. I sure hope they know us when we get there.

  3. I know that my husband who died 136 days ago is in Heaven and is waiting for me. I need to believe in this more than anything in the world. I believe that God will reunite families in heaven .

    1. My husband died very unexpectedly at age 43 on June 30, 2022. I know he is waiting for me in heaven and I know that your husband is too. Listen to “I beat you there” by Will Dempsey. It helps me know my husband is waiting for me and we will be reunited. Sending up prayers for you.

      1. Big hugs to you Kate, I lost my husband Steve unexpectedly while on vacation with our family June30th, 2022, I am so heartbroken to be without him after 47yrs together. I know I will be with him again . Prayers for all of us who have lost our loves

    2. Lost my husband in October of 2022 knew him when we were teenagers and we also worked together at Dominion where we met and I do believe we will be together for eternity when my time comes there has to be more than what is here on earth I have to believe we will meet up again for eternity ❤️

    3. Linda I sure hope so. I have faith that God will reunite us all me and my husband were together for 32 years and I’m so lost without him.

  4. My wife and I were married at very early age and were so much in love and it lasted 56 of the best years of my life,now she has been gone almost four years,but I cannot get over it .I do know where she is now and I want so much to go see her as early as God will allow me.we were a big part of our church our entire married life,words will not serve me to tell you how much I miss her every minute day and night.Is this normal?

    1. Jimmy, my name is Bob. My wife and I were married at age 18. I lost her suddenly after 45 plus years of marriage 7 and a half years ago. Yes, to this day, I feel so empty inside and I still cry every day loving and missing her so much. I pray every day asking and hoping God will reunite not just me but all of us wait for the day that we will be together again for eternity. God Bless!!

    2. Hi Jimmy. My name is Norm. Sorry for your lose. I also lost my wife of 56 years. We also met at 18 years old and fell in love the first night. She has been gone 20 months now and it feels like 20 years. The pain is there day and night! I cry every day and night. I just want to be with her! I know we will be together again in heaven. I truly hope my message helps your broken heart a little bit. The pain was so bad i had a heart attack 2 months later. All i can do is hang in there for my kids. All the best to you. They were the best years Jimmy!

    3. Bless your heart Jimmy. My husband always to me he was leaving first cause I can live without him but he can’t live without me. I hope he is able to look down and see my life since he’s gone cause I don’t know were to turn.

  5. I’m so sorry for everyone’s loss. I haven’t lost my husband but I don’t know why this is making me sad. I mean I want to be with him in heaven too. I went through a bad first marriage and my current husband shows me exactly how a women should be treated. This is the first time I think, it is really love. We have been married 18 years and I’m the happiest I can be with him. I am older than my husband and I would love to know that if one of us ever passes away that we would still be together in heaven. I think I’m just having a crisis episode or my PTSD is just making me sick for always thinking of these things.

  6. My husband died March 1st and it’s has not been the same since my life have really changed and I miss him so much I just hope we can be together again one day I wanna be his wife forever and ever God please don’t take that away from me 🙏😭

  7. I am lost without Peter met him 12 years old football and cheerleading.
    Met him again in high school. Then began49 years married 60 together.
    Died 7-4–22. 3 children 6 grandchildren.
    I tried saving him. Morning, nighttime horrible I will never get over this feeling.

  8. I my wife last week Monday we were married 51 years, nine months and 24 days. She was absolute love of my life. I am heartbroken. I have plenty of support for my family. I am not mad at God I know Jesus loves him more than I ever possibly could, and that she is with him in his loving arms I know she want her can’t come back so I must go to her. I’ve been praying for God to take my life that I may be reunited with her in the loving presence of God I could never marry again , with that kind of love we had for each other. She was a perfect wife. I pray that if I get to heaven we can be together and together in the presence of loving God be in total peace and harmony with him I am not suicidal. I just want to be with her today in the loving presence of God pray for me please.

    1. II too pray to God Every Day to take me to heaven to be with my loving husband of 50 years and my 2 children who have also died–This is My Daily Prayer–I miss them so much!–Waking up every day is disappointing because I am still here without them praying and praying for GOD TO Bring Me To Them In Heaven–I will add you to My Daily Prayers As Well

    2. I know exactly how you feel Bob! I lost my wife 9 days ago on July 9th after 22 years together. I asked God if he could just rapture me up to heaven, so I can be with her again! I feel so empty and lost right now! I will never want to be with anyone else! My sincere condolences Bob! All we can do is keep praying for God’s peace through this. If you are a born again Christian, you will be with her again before you know it! The way this world is going, it won’t be too long until he comes to rapture us out of here! That’s what I hold onto! God Bless Bob! I’ll see you there!

  9. wow. seeing all the comments make me feel like I am not alone. I, too, lost my husband of 31 years 2 months ago. I also have had the feelings of just wanting to be with him in Heaven. It just feels like my life here is nothing without him. We never had children so I am truly alone. I have been a christian since a very young age but I feel myself doubting and wondering why he was taken from me. He had cardiac arrest, we didn’t even know he had any blockages. I never had a chance to say goodbye. He was out of town with work, as he traveled often for his occupation. I keep thinking he will walk in the door and it will all have been a mistake. My heart is heavy and I don’t know how to go on. I’m looking for a grief group to see if that will help. This is a club I never thought I would be in at 57.

  10. I lost my husband last June 13,2023.. 3 months after our wedding. It’s really painful and hard for me knowing that our son is 2 months old. We miss him every single day but God has a plan and purpose for this. Hopefully soon God will give me comfort and healing. 🙏🥺 I love my husband so much. He is priest, 29 years old. Gone too soon 🥺🥺

  11. My beloved husband died just 2 weeks ago today and I find missing him unbearably hard. I telephone his number, just to hear his voice and leave him messages which I know he cannot hear. He was buried 4 days ago and I’ve been to his grave every day since; I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop going there. Reading everyone else’s comments is harrowing as it seems it won’t get any easier.


  13. I lost my husband on June 17 I miss him so much my heart is broken I got 3 beautiful daughter one as Learning difficulties and it hard for her to understand that he gone my girls are with me most times and I got wonderful carers but I want to be with him

  14. Seeing these comments take me back to the days when the loss of my husband was still too painful to bear. That was September 18, 1992. So another homegoing anniversary draws close again. The 31st; not a day goes by that he don’t walk through my mind. You all may not believe it, but you will laugh again. Not quite as heartily maybe; but the realization we are closer to home ourselves will keep you standing until you can fly.

    It’s the Twilight Zone period after a death that is the absolute worst. You function on auto pilot. Every thought is about who you lost. Talking about anything in the future – no. Just, no.

    You will always hold your loved ones in a very special part of your heart. The sound of their voice and laughter will fade like old Polaroids. But just remember this; they haven’t forgotten you. You will see their handiwork at different stages of your life, and recognize who brought it across your path. One of my husband’s “signs” came to me in the middle of a busy grocery store. Some people stared while I was heading for the kleenex aisle. But once the crying ceased, a wave of happiness went through me like a laser. He hadn’t forgotten, and THAT, my friends, is exactly what will keep you going. They don’t forget. Ever.

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