Jesus commanded us to love; so we know love is not just a feeling, since we cannot command feelings. Love is mostly a decision. Jesus did not say:
When you get healed, love;
When you grow up, love;
When you feel loving, love;
When you get it together and have dealt with all your mother/father/husband/children wounds, then you must love.
No, the commandment for all of us is to love now, and thus fill the tragic gaps of every moment. I think we know the love of God much more when we ourselves can “do love” than when people tell us we are lovable. (That just feels good!) We can always disbelieve the second, but the first is an unexplainable power from beyond ourselves. We know we are being used, and the “Living Water” is flowing through us.
—from the book Yes, And… Daily Meditations
by Richard Rohr